Toilet Wallpaper

Here is an interesting fact about the toilets at Smash Palace. We get about ten times more graffiti in the women’s toilet than the men’s. I put this down to the fact that the blokes are so ecstatic about the mechanical drawings, respect is forced upon them. The girls on the other hand tear shit off the walls, scribble lewd comments in the gaps and generally ruin the space for others. This confuses me as I have always thought the XYs were far nicer than the double Xs when it comes to standards of behavior.

When we built the toilets (and we stupidly built them from scratch thinking we could save a buck), we were determined to make them fun and interesting. I have always been of the opinion that too many places are lazy with their toilets and treat them as nothing but a space to shit and piss. I go into so many toilets at bars and think “nobody even cares about this space”.

When we built ours, the challenge was to take a poxy port-a-com type structure and make it fun. We did this with some really cool wallpaper that we had been hoarding for years. The results speak for themselves. I have seen people returning to their tables and saying to their mates: “Come with me, you’ve got to check out the toilets. They’re a hoot.” And off they go to visit the toilet together (in a non sexual or drug-taking way).

I also liked that over Christmas we had a group of mechanics in and one of them returned to the table and said to the apprentice:

“Have you been for a piss?”

“No”, replied the young fella.

“Well when you do, I wanna come with you. I want to show you how a pre-selection gearebox works. It really is a thing of wonder.”

And when the apprentice went for a piss, the old guru went with him and 20 minutes later they emerged, emptied of weeze with the apprentice declaring he now knew how pre-selection worked.

Isn’t that a nice toilet that can encourage that sort of engagement with those emptying their bladders and bowels?

But the point of this post was to say that the carny posters on the outside had become a bit faded and fucked from the sun and rain. The always-excellent Nick White has been down over the last few days and covered them in cool old hot-rod comics. I think they look really sharp and this has meant my trips to the toilet have now increased in duration.

So enjoy the new posters before the sun sees to them again.

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